Emoness

So I was on facebook today and I found out that my ex (whom I despise for reasons I don't want to get into) is friends with someone who I used to be very close to in high school.  I still feel like we could be close friends (it's facebook.  I'm not so petty as to pull some "if you're friends with them you can't be friends with me" crap), but she doesn't exactly talk to me anymore.  I mean, I comment on her ish all the time, but that's the only time we talk... is when I talk to her.  In fact, it works that way with a lot of my "friends."

Ever since Greg started hating me and I found out he was hanging with Kenny (the ex), I've been terrified that all they've been doing is talking down about me and turning my used to be friends against me.  So far, I have found no evidence to the contrary.  I mean, Kacz stopped talking to me completely for fuck's sake.  I had always thought we were good friends...

I just feel so alienated.  It's really difficult for me to make friends outside of a con or a classroom, and college isn't big on group work.  Which, honestly, part of me is really thankful for because I hate working in groups.  But at the same time, I'm starting to realize that the only reason I became friends with those people in high school was because I was forced to work with them.  Back to the point though...

I feel so completely isolated from my peers at school.  The majority of the people I hear and meet in class hate the classes I love and would rather not be there.  There are some exceptions, but I'm pretty sure they'll be leaving for main campus after this semester. 

I just feel like I have nothing in common with the majority of my peers.  They all already have their social groups formed from high school.  They all watch stupid reality television shows like the Jersey Shore and whatever stupid thing MTV's dishing out.  I prefer to watch specials on the history channel and Criminal Minds, along with some anime.

Most of them talk about going out and partying and getting drunk where as I would prefer to just get a small bunch of people together and watch a movie or something.  I don't have any interest in going to frat or sorority parties or anything like that.

I know this sounds like a lot of "no one understands me" emo teenage angst, but it's not.  I know there are people out there who get me and who I would be great friends with... I just don't think they live in this area.  Hell, I don't think they live in this country.

That's the other thing.  I feel so out of touch with most of America.  Extreme liberals, conservatives, republicans, democrats, jesus freaks, and atheists.  I know that the media only shows extremes because that's what sells, but I personally know quite a number of extremists and I have to say, I'm sick of living here.  I understand that there will be extremists no matter where I move, but it's the disconnection from the rest of the world that I really can't take.  I need to move to Europe badly.  Everything seems so connected there.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm just being naive, but I genuinely feel like I would connect with more people over there.  I don't know...

All I know is, I'm so tired of feeling so isolated from everyone else.